It's okay to not be okay

This year has been a tough one. It feels like shit will hit the fan and then we won't even finish cleaning it up before it strikes again.

Just in the past couple months months I've had to deal with two tooth infections, had an emergency wisdom teeth surgery,  got in a car accident, and I found out I had rheumatoid arthritis which left me unable to use either of my hands for a whole week (a photographer's nightmare!). On top of that Josiah had kidney stones that warranted an ER visit. It's been a lot. 

The event that did me in though was two months ago when we were forced to move out of our home after someone came and shot into our windows. Although we don't know all of the details on the case, the police are treating the situation as a targeted occurrence and strongly suggested we move out of our home. This would have been devastating whether or not we had just moved into that apartment or not, but we had only been living there for 6 months. We spent a month bouncing between friends and family and during that time I was held it together. I was okay. 

One of the friends we had been staying with reached out to take the urgency off of our apartment hunt and offered to let us stay with them until we found a place. Soon after moving in with them the idea of staying in Chicago started to feel less appealing. Details are still being improvised on our next move, but I can fill you in on that as we make it up. Now I'm sitting two months past the day we had to move out of our apartment with less of a plan for the future than I did before. I can not for one second forget to acknowledge how generous our friends and their offer are, but the unsettledness of it all in combination with all of the other things going on in our life is really getting to me. I like plans. I like goals. And right now I feel like I'm in a middle season of loss. Loss of safety. Loss of security. Loss of inspiration. Loss of joy.

I want so desperately to be okay. But I need to remind myself it's okay to not be okay. And right now, I don't feel okay. 

How to Stay Healthy When Traveling

This post is about staying healthy both physically and mentally while traveling. I've long struggled to not let going on a trip rock me completely off the "healthy boat". I've always felt like trips were a time to indulge like you'll never go back to a place and completely live it up, but here are some things that I have found helpful to live my best life -- enjoying traveling while simultaneously staying healthy. 

Elderberry syrup 

Before we went on our most recent trip to Europe, both Josiah and I starting drinking a tablespoon of elderberry syrup every morning to help support our immune system. It's definitely a new thing for us, but neither of us got sick before, during, or after our trip so I think it is going to be something we do in the weeks leading up to traveling from here on out. 

Other supplements 

Bring whatever supplements you take daily. You're already going to be thrown off your routine in a lot of different ways, you might as well try to keep that on track. Really the only supplement that I take daily is vital proteins collagen.  I've been taking it faithfully for almost a year now and can definitely notice the positive effect it has had on my gut health. For that reason, I never want to miss a day of taking it, especially when traveling. Vital proteins has single servings of collagen that make it convenient for travel. Personally, I prefer just to scoop what I think I need into a baggie or glass container and travel that way because it is much more cost effective, but it's really nice to have the option. 

walk as many places as possible 

Walking is my favorite way to see a new place. Not only is it free, but when you walk you are able to go at a slow enough pace that you can fully take in your surroundings. The fact that walking while exploring a new city doubles as exercise is just a bonus. If walking isn't your thing or you're a little tight on time, rent a bicycle. You can still get a little exercise in, but get around a lot quicker. 

SLEEP if you have an overnight plane ride

This was a game changer for me. The last time we traveled abroad our flight was overnight, but I didn't sleep. That probably was mostly because I was so excited about everything that we were about to see, but this time I forced myself to sleep a good portion of the flight and it made it much easier to adjust to the local time once we landed. 

Get on their time zone 

This goes along with sleeping on the plane. If you had an overnight flight, once you land, change your watch to match the local time immediately and stay awake until that evening. We landed at 7am Amsterdam time and although it felt like it was midnight for us, we went and had breakfast and then continued to explore until it was an appropriate time to go to sleep (which I think we decided was 7:30pm). We then slept the entire night and were able to wake up and fall asleep at an appropriate time the rest of our trip. Staying awake the entire first day was a struggle towards the end, but it made the rest of the week so much easier. 

Research restaurants in advance 

As someone who has dietary restrictions, this was so important. I researched restaurants that not only met my dietary requirements, but also had creative and interesting dishes. Taking that little extra time to research made the trip less stressful because we knew we had options that would leave us feeling great. 

Indulge when you want

Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever food items you want. If you're up for some crepes, even though you just had some gelato, go for it. Listen to your body and do what it wants! Obviously I'd recommend still respecting your dietary-requirements, but you're the judge of how each food makes you feel, so if it's not worth it, don't eat it. And if it is, go for it! 

Don't indulge if you don't want To

If you're not feeling like indulging in some Parisian chocolate, skip it. Just because you likely won't be back for a while doesn't mean you HAVE to EAT ALL THE THINGS. Before this trip to Paris I kept dreaming about chocolate croissants. The first time we were in Paris I LOVED the chocolate croissants and imagined I would want to eat as many as I possibly could in the short time we were there. Ironically, as soon as we arrived in Paris, I didn't want a chocolate croissant anymore. The craving had passed and I ended up not eating one at all during this trip. If you don't really want to indulge, don't. 

try to maintain some form of routine

When traveling, life can feel so hectic, so I feel that it it is very important to maintain even a small amount of routine. For me that was journaling and reading a short devotional before heading out to explore for the morning. It was very brief and might sound meaningless, but it helped me feel grounded. 

Hydrate

If I don't drink enough water I feel sluggish and often times get a headache.  Do not forget to drink water! Even if you're on a plane and worry about bugging your neighbor to pee, drink, it will make you feel better. 

BYOS

Bring your own snacks. Especially as someone who has dietary restrictions this is a must! Here are some of my faves: Epic bars, Kitchfix granola, and Larabars. 

DOn't plan too much

This one might not work for everyone. For Josiah and I, this looks like not having a hard and set schedule. Although we research restaurants and attractions that we want to visit, we try to give ourselves a lot of room to let the day take us wherever. It keeps our stress levels low and allows room for spontaneity, which for us, is what travel is really all about. 

Skip the makeup

Don't wear makeup on the plane.  I did this once and immediately thought, WHY. It always exaggerates the amount that planes already dry my skin out so I always just sport a bare face when flying. Then, when I arrive at my destination I'll moisturize and apply some makeup. 

Peppermint oil

I get a lot of headaches when traveling. Mostly related to motion-sickness (it's how my motion-sickness first shows itself before I start to get nauseas) so when I start to feel one coming on I just rub a little bit of peppermint oil on the back of my neck and it usually goes away pretty quickly. 

So there you have it, my current tips and tricks to stay healthy while traveling! If you have any additional tips for traveling healthy, let me know! I would love to hear them! 

Inside Out Peanut Butter Cups

I think obsessed is the word I would use to describe my relationship with peanut butter. And that might even be downplaying it. It's always been a favorite food of mine, especially in the form of a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. my problem with those however was that there were never enough peanut butter. Don't get me wrong, I love chocolate, I do, but when it comes to peanut butter in desserts or candies, I think the more the merrier. These peanut butter cups provide my preferred ratio and utilize much more health conscious ingredients than any packaged peanut butter cup ever will. Make these and keep them in your freezer for when that post-dinner sugar craving strikes. These are only slightly sweetened, which is my personal preference, but if you prefer them much sweeter, just increase the amount of maple syrup and enjoy. 

INSIDE OUT PEANUT BUTTER CUPS

Makes 9

• 1/2 cup coconut oil
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 2 TBS maple syrup
• 2 TBS cocoa powder 

Line a muffin pan with paper liners. Melt together the peanut butter and coconut oil in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Add in 1 tablespoon of maple syrup. When the mixture has melted completely take out 1/2 cup of the mixture and set aside. Add in 2 tablespoons of cocoa powder and 1 tablespoon of maple syrup to the peanut butter and coconut oil mixture you set aside. Using the peanut butter and coconut oil mixture that is still in the saucepan, pour the mixture into the paper liners in the muffin pan. Only fill the cups about half full and then place in the freezer. Allow that layer to freeze and then pour the chocolate layer on top and then allow that layer to freeze. Finally take the remaining peanut butter coconut oil mixture and pour it over the top of the chocolate layer and then place in the freezer. Once the final layer has frozen you can enjoy. Store in an airtight container in the freezer. 

warming apple Chia seed pudding

Hey there friends! 

I hope this week has been treating you well. Josiah and I are in the final days of preparing for our trip to Amsterdam next week and I'm already positive I'm going to forget something. Because we are going to be traveling around so much while we are there, we both committed to only bringing a backpack. I'm a chronic over-packer and I don't know if I can do it. I'm mainly concerned about how many pairs of shoes I'll be able to bring with me. I'll keep you posted. 

As the trip has been approaching I've had so many of my friends ask about our travel plans, all the places we will go and see, and as much as I can be a Type A, when it comes to traveling, I really kind of let things fall where they may. We usually pick out a list of places that we want to go and kind of just roll with the days. We assess how we're feeling and do as much as we can. Needless to say, our plans aren't really made yet and whatever plans we do have are very much subject to change. For whatever reason, traveling without an itinerary is one of my favorite things (despite my usual necessity to know what's going on every minute from 9-5 every day). I'll just consider it a blessing. 

Since Josiah and I have been married we have been on an eggs-for-breakfast-kick. Like seriously, for almost two years all we would eat for breakfast was eggs. It wasn't until recently that we deviated from eggs and started to attempt some other breakfast foods to break up the monotony. We started to occasionally have green smoothies, bananas and peanut butter, or chia seed pudding just to keeo ourselves from getting bored. As winter set in, we really liked keeping with eggs more because they were warm. Again, afraid of starting to despise a beloved favorite, we wanted to add in variety that still gave the same warming feeling as eggs. Alas, warm chia pudding.  Since then we've been periodically enjoying a bowl of this slightly sweet, but not-too-sweet goodness as a way to kick off the day. Here is one of our favorite warming versions. 

warming apple Chia seed pudding

Makes 2

• 1 apple, diced

• 1/4 cup chia seeds

• 1/2 cup almond milk or other milk

• 1 teaspoon cinnamon

• 1/4 teaspoon ginger

• 1/4 teaspoon cloves

• dash of salt

• 2 teaspoons maple syrup, more for serving (optional)

for serving

• Paleo granola

• Almond butter

• Maple syrup

Put all contents in a medium pot and bring to a boil. As soon as it boils, cover and then cook on low until the apples have cooked thoroughly. About 8 minutes. Top with almond butter, paleo granola, nuts, seeds, a drizzle of maple syrup, etc.